Dear Heather - Tongue Tied in Texas

Dear Heather,

I was recently fired from a job I worked at for 8 years.  I won't go in to details, but the condensed version is that I did my job, and something went wrong, our owner got furious, and I guess I got sacrificed.  I've never ever been fired from a job before, and I'm still just stunned.  I feel totally worthless, and worst of all, I know that I did what anyone would have done in that situation. 

Now I've been applying for new jobs, and if the companies do finally call me in for an interview everything goes fine until they get to my employment history.  I don't know what I'm supposed to say when they ask me about why I left my last job.  Do I tell them I got fired, or that I left, and do I tell them the specifics of what happened if I do tell them that I got fired?  How can I say the right hireable words?  

-Tongue Tied in Texas
 

Dear Tongue Tied,
 
The phrase, "I feel your pain," is universally overused, but in this instance, I actually CAN feel your pain.  Being fired is hard on anyone's self esteem, and it's hardest the first time it happens, especially if you thought that you were really good at your job.  The good news is that it's DEFINITELY something you can bounce back from and find yourself in an even better place at the end of it all!
 
First, I want to address that feeling of being worthless that you've got.  You're going to need to shake that before any employer is going to be able to get enough confidence to hire you again.  As someone who once hired people frequently, I'll tell you that confidence balanced with communication and people skills is my magic mix for people I want on my staff, so you need to find some way to get to feeling better about yourself.  
 
And if you're thinking that sounds easier than it actually is, you're right.  What you're essentially going through is a mourning period, just like if someone you loved suddenly left or died.  Basic path of grief goes like this - Shock and Denial ->Pain and Guilt -> Anger and Bargaining ->Depression, Reflection and Loneliness -> Clarity -> Reconstruction -> Acceptance and Hope.   The problem with the path of grief is that you have to go all the way through it, and it's not always a short process.  Personally, when I traveled this path, it took me almost 4 months to really get to a good place inside, despite the face I was showing to the world.
 
Next, as to how you answer that question...  Well, there are a few schools of thought on this one.  Some people say that honesty is always the best policy.  This can be true, especially in an industry as tiny as ours is.  Odds are, the hiring manager already knows the truth, so she or he is just wanting to see how you answer the question.  I would avoid using the word "fired" when the question comes up.  The best phrase I've ever heard was told to me by a good friend and mentor, Jesse Hartman, who suggested that I use the words, "We decided to part ways," or , "It was time to move on."  Remember, in an interview, they're judging you on your poise and professional communication skills, so focus on keeping things positive.
 
If the interviewer brings up the fact that you were terminated and asks you why, I suggest NEVER EVER airing your and your company's dirty laundry.  Don't go into specifics, don't tell the whole story and don't cry.  One of the best responses in this case is to say, "It wasn't a good fit for me, but that's one of the reasons I like what I've seen about your corporate culture..." and then go in to examples as to why you would fit in well with their company and what you can bring to the table.
 
Don't let fear hold you back.  The job market does have jobs for people who are willing to put forth the effort to get them!  Hang in there and focus your efforts on healing over the scars from your dismissal, learning what you can from the incident, and finding a company that can be a great long term home for you moving forward.
 
Good Luck!
Heather